Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Writing Portfolio Post

Description: In writing we based what we wrote on a picture that we were given. We were given a picture of a cat in a cage and the bird sitting on top. We had to write a story telling about what we thought about it, including the five senses.


Evaluation: I think I really finished my writing to the best standard I could. I think I learned a lot about using descriptive words and paragraphs in my writing to hook the reader. I think I achieved my goal. I also used a new template to help plan my writing. I think that new plan helped me a lot and gave me options of what I was going to write about.

Feedback/Feedfoward:   
Great job Rosalind you have used lots of descriptive words to add lots of impact.  Next time I think that you could add a range of short and long sentences. Great job I love your writing! Hannah K:) 

The Learning: We have been learning to use descriptive words to hook the reader. I have also been learning to put paragraphs, so that it is easy to read. My Goal is to use a different plan to help create my writing and get the main points. I have used a mountain plan this time and it helped a lot because it helped me think more about what the problem was going to be and planning a beginning, middle and end. Beneath is my writing that is the finished piece. There is also a picture of the mountain plan.

















Big idea:

Trapped

Earlier outside the house, the tabby cat was smoking. The bird sat on the trampoline, planning his revenge. Not long ago the bird had jumped as something hit his side. A burn ran all through his body. He knew who had done it, straight away. It was time for payback. 

Swooping down came the bird, he was yelling " HELP, HELP "! Gian slippers came stomping and big hairy hands came and picked up the cat and shoved the cat in the cage.

Now the cat was in the cage with the bird perched proudly on top. The key was trapped in the birds beak. The cat's ears flattened  and his tail flicked sharply every second. There was a smell like a heater burning dust, and smoke was appearing around the corner of the wall. 

The bird screeched and dropped the key. It made a clanking noise as it hit the glass table. 
But there wa still a problem. The cat could not pick up the key to open the heavy metal padlock. BANG the kitchen door closed and the bird passed through the window with a wink.

3 comments:

  1. I love your Writing Rosalind, As your goal is using planning templates in your writing, I think you did a great job! Maybe you could just fill in all the boxes in your planning template as it might help you to remember what you are writing about when it comes time for you to write your story.
    Great Job, Your writing is amazing!

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  3. Great clue at the beginning of your writing Rosalind - and a fantastic way to build suspense! It is great to hear that planning your writing gave you a lot of ideas to write about - I wonder if you stuck to these ideas or formed new ideas while writing? You have used some great descriptive words, really helping the reader to imagine the scene and drama that unfolds! Keep up the great work!

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